You are leading her through your best turn patterns, you seem to have a great connection, and she is smiling and laughing. That means she’s having a great time right? But then how do we reconcile these comments… (taken from our discussion board)
- “When a guy makes a mistake I try to smile to give him encouragement.”
- “I always smile, even when the guy isn’t very fun to dance with. You never know what other guys are watching…”
- “Sometimes when a guy doesn’t lead me correctly I laugh it off – it’s best to have a sense of humor about our mistakes, right?”
Now you might be saying:
“AAAAhhhhhh but wait! I thought that smiling and laughing meant that my combos made her happy and she liked them and me…you mean to tell me she’s been FAKING IT??”
While we are sure all of our visitors are great dancers, it is understood that we all should be polite to all dancer levels (beginners – advanced) in the salsa scene. However, to provide you with a more clear perspective on your performance, here are some surefire ways to tell that a follow really enjoys dancing with you whether it’s for your combos, or just because she enjoys floor time with you, and isn’t just pretending to have fun:
She compliments you
If the dance was just mediocre, ladies won’t go out of their way to compliment you (e.g., “That was awesome! You’ve got some nice combos” or “that was really fun!”). Keep in mind, however, that if you’ve already told her you are just a beginner, then these could just be words of encouragement.
She asks your name after the dance
This means she does NOT want you to forget her! What she is really hoping for is for you to ask her name (that would mean that someone she considers to be a great dancer also thinks highly of her). When you’ve been introduced, there is a greater likelihood that the two of you will dance again, and she is trying to increase those odds.
She thanks you very enthusiastically
Compare an elaborate thank you to a half-muttered, “thanks” as she walks away (e.g., “No really…thank YOU”). The elaborate version is genuine and passionate – she appreciates your dance because you were either 1) a great dancer and/or 2) really fun to dance with. The more enthusiastic her thank you, the more likely you are both 1) and 2).
She asks you to save her a dance, or asks you to dance later in the night
The latter is probably the most surefire sign that she thoroughly enjoys dancing with you, but the former is also a good sign. Whether she says “save me a dance later” because she is taking a break or directly after a fun dance with you does not matter: ladies will rarely say “save me a dance” if they do not like to dance with you. Remember that ladies aren’t used to asking for a dance, therefore it is a good sign when they ask you!
She always says yes to dance with you (and it’s not out of social obligation)
Hopefully you get a “yes, I’d love to!” instead of “yeah, sure.” The latter implies, “well, I was taking a break, or looking for someone else, but I guess since you asked me….”. Another good indicator is if she looks like she was taking a break, or on her way to the restroom, and she still says yes to dance with you – this means she doesn’t want to pass up a great opportunity!
She smiles or laughs AFTER SOMETHING HAS GONE WELL.
Be really careful interpreting this one – lots of people use laughter/smiles when they are embarrassed, don’t know how to react, to make light of a bad situation, or because they think others are watching. But if the happiness is constant, or comes directly after you’ve made a great move, then you know she is enjoying the dance.
Be careful guys, that smile could be an attempt to make light of a bad situation. She might be having a great time…but she might also be FAKING IT!
Thanks to all the participants of this exciting topic on the discussion board! Please add on in the comments below: ladies, what other signs do you give guys? And GUYS, you fake it too! Let us know what you do if you find yourself in a less than ideal situation on the floor.
Bloch is carried here as well,...
Hi!!! awesome thread!! i’ve always wonder what’s going on in my partner’s head while she’s dancing with me..
About myself…when i dance with i girl i’m not having much fun i don’t move much, don’t do much body movement, like when i dance with begginers but i try to smile and be nice and tell her not to worry when she does something wrong, because i’ve been through that also so i try to have fun anyways
cya ^^
Some others:
1. She asks to continue dancing the next song.
2. She exchanges phone #’s so she can find which club you’re going to (and then goes to the same club, not a different one:-)).
3. She buys you a drink and asks you to go home with her. I’m still waiting for this one… guess I need to keep practicing.:-)
! Good remarks SnowDancer
especially the third one. (I need to practice too!) Your observations are really accurate I think.
I would add that when she looks somewhere far from you (almost constantly or even from time to time) you can read it as:
“Oh I wish the song would end…”,
“I wish he led me as the guy in that other pair”,
“I would like to be with my friends by the table”.
Note it might not be so easy to be seen as you may think.
The last is hilarious SnowDancer!
1. She’s not shy to use her sexy moves. (If I’m having fun then I’ll use a few moves that I know!)
2. She’ll ask you for a dance next time she sees you at another event.
(I always ask this one guy who is still a beginner. BUT, his moves are great, timing is on point, and looks like he’s having fun.)
3. LAST, she’s willing to dance a close bachata dance w/ you.
NOW, HOW I DO FAKE IT!
1) I say, “I’m taking a break” but have NO SHAME to dance w/ the guy who comes by right after you.
2) I realize the dance sucks, so I don’t move as much.
3) I will look around to see other dancers and not look at you. I may say, “WOW look at them they’re good.” Yes, while dancing.
4) I will start messing up on simple combos. I’ll say, “I’m just tired..I’m sorry.” I’m really hoping the song will END.
I really do it to those dancers who are not regulars. Sometimes a girls got to do what a girls got to do. You know they’re guys out there w/ B.O. or need a mint or are simply rough!
Yep, I dislike those, too. lol
I think it’s common courtesy to try to provide yourself with preventive measures when going to the club to dance. If you know you sweat a lot and have the high potential of bad odor, take a shower right before going, or take a deodorant with you.
That’s probably the only time I actually come with an excuse to not dance with someone.
@Laura, what you are doing is rude. Doesn’t matter if you are doing it to regulars or non-regulars. You missed the point of having fun.
Gosh! Have fun and build a good rapport.
Oh my, have I been there.
1.) When she tries as much as possible to do footwork or free style rather than pairing up.
2.) When she dances worse than a beginner but as good as a professional with the ‘other guy’. lol
As for me, I try not to do anything that would discourage her. I’m still learning, and compared to the majority of the people at the club, I’m still in the beginning stage. Not everybody learns as quickly as others.
Once, a female left me standing in the middle of the dance floor halfway through the song when I couldn’t tell whether I danced on 1 or 2. I didn’t dance for a long time after that. lol
don’t wory
(this is the reason why there are more female than male people at the dance partys, we think strategic))
1.) different people-different preferences. in colombian style they do much footwork and not so many spinns.
2.) good lead is a powerfull tool, it can make a girl look good even she doesn’t have any rhythm.(well, it is no fun for a good leader, but maybe she will turn to a better dancer – more girls to dance with is definitely
“Once, a female left me standing in the middle of the dance floor halfway through the song when I couldn’t tell whether I danced on 1 or 2.”
-whey you turn better and she asks you to dance with, you know what to do … do it for other beginner guys … no, was a joke to learn social jerk behaviors is definitely something you don’t want
Sure fire indicators that a bad dance is coming your way.
1. You ask her to dance and the response you get is “Pardon?”, “Eh?” or “What?”, Like she didn’t hear you. I interpert this as she knows she not up to scratch but has not been on the scene long enough to come back with a preprepared refusal.
2. She says “I’m only a beginner.” I used to interpret this as modesty. No. it’s the truth. She’s only a beginner.
3. Someone approaches you and says, “Can you dance with my friend, she’s really good?”. Run a mile, fake a heart attack. Whatever you do avoid that person at all costs.